My Worst Nightmare
What is your worst nightmare? Are you afraid of the monster under your bed or the wolf lurking in the darkness? Do you dread the thought of losing your job or getting lost in unknown lands?
My worst nightmare is Up.
When the Adventure Ends Before It Begins
Have you ever seen Up (Disney Pixar, 2009)?
It's an animated film (there's no age limit for this!) that tells the story of two children who are adventure enthusiasts, dreaming of discovering Paradise Falls, shouting at the top of their lungs: >
These children grow up while holding onto their childhood spirit and dreams. They marry, move in together, and decide to save money for a trip... But their plans never come to fruition, with life's accidents forcing them to break their piggy bank at the slightest necessity. And in just a few minutes, we see the life of this enthusiastic couple unfold, aging until the death of one of the protagonists occurs, without them ever having gone on a trip.
This introduction to the film always moves me, as it touches a sensitive chord-the fear of not bringing my dreams to life: it is my worst nightmare.
Dreaming... Then Nothing
The scenario of this animated film is not drawn from fiction. How many people do we hear talking about their dreams, waiting to fulfill them... until it is too late?
Why Does This Happen?
For me, there are three major risk factors behind this nightmare.
- The Waiting RoomTo fulfill their dreams, many think they must wait: wait for the right moment, wait for the appropriate context, wait for the right family situation, wait until they have the means... Sometimes, they even wait until retirement. And they spend their entire lives in the waiting room, never embarking on the adventure of their lives. What guarantees that the family situation will ever be perfect, or conversely, that it is not compatible with our dreams at present? What guarantee do we have that all our barriers will disappear and that no new ones will arise? What security do we have that we can enjoy our retirement?Without wanting to be overly dramatic or classic >, life is never perfect and, paradoxically, projects are often more feasible than we want to believe. In short, one should not (overly) wait: one must take the plunge, or at the very least, equip oneself (psychologically and practically) to jump in.
- Emergencies versus PrioritiesThe two heroes of Up break their piggy bank for every emergency: a flat tire, a water leak in the bathroom, health issues... These are real emergencies, I agree. But are these emergencies priorities in the long run, considering their life path? The question is not about neglecting medical care to save money for dreams; there are some unavoidable expenses; rather, it's about anticipating the risks along the way. From the moment one decides, for example, to have a house or a car, one must consider the entirety of that choice and not just the benefits it brings. Owning a car or a house inevitably implies additional costs: maintenance, insurance... and unexpected expenses. There will always be some, so they are not as unpredictable as one might think; the only unknown is >.Thus, it is necessary to account not only for the direct budgetary cost but also for the associated costs in the medium and long term.The ideal, in my opinion, would be to have a savings fund for projects, like travel, and another to face life's accidents. This allows one to avoid dipping into the savings > to avoid ending up in the same situation depicted in the animated film.
- Project SetupWhy do dreams not come true? Because, unfortunately, we cannot rely on fairies: we can only count on ourselves to make them happen. This second risk factor is therefore directly attributable to us.For some people, being > with their primary desires is not easy. But discovering one's ambitions in life is not enough; the next step is to convert those dreams into projects. One must believe in them and provide the means to achieve them.
From Dream to Project
How many times have I not heard people say: >, and continue with ifs: if I had money, if I didn't have kids, if I were younger... All these justifications will never truly ease their conscience. Because deep down, behind this little layer of unacknowledged bad faith, lies a frustration that one tries to bury to forget.
To avoid reaching that point, here are, in my opinion, the 4 steps to make your dreams come true:
- Listen to YourselfBe receptive to signals of interest, joy... To (re)discover your dreams.
- List Your DreamsDreaming aimlessly is nice, but it's not effective! Writing your Bucket List will be your first concrete step toward realizing your dreams. You can see mine here.
- Turn Your Dreams into ProjectsSet a goal (achieve a specific item on your list in the coming month, during your next vacation...), and break it down into sub-goals. For this, think about the necessary conditions for its realization: budget, learning, availability, material resources...For example, you dream of going to the Galapagos and scuba diving 30 meters deep to photograph sharks. You can roughly calculate a budget: cost of plane tickets, accommodation, dive session(s)...Next, it's up to you to see what seems necessary to learn: Spanish, to communicate better on-site, diving (if you've never taken a course and your time there is too short to start from scratch).Regarding availability: you will need to free up the necessary time for your trip (for instance, by scheduling the necessary days off with your employer) but also for your learning (language classes...).In terms of equipment, you may think that you can rent diving gear there, but you still need a waterproof case or a good underwater camera (and the time to learn to master it).And based on all these elements, you build your action plan, planning the money to save each month and taking these intermediate steps necessary for the final realization of your dream, turned into a project.
- And finally, take action!Enough preparation, dive in!
By following this path, your dreams will become an integral part of your life, and you may find, perhaps with surprise, that the journey to realize them will already bring you some satisfaction.
A Choice
By following these steps, you will have a Bucket List that evolves based on the things you have done and crossed off, as well as new ideas that will come to you as you remain receptive and open.
Your Bucket List will then become a program, and you will turn each of your dreams into goals, achieving them one by one, for your greatest satisfaction.
You become an actor in your life, creating the necessary conditions for realizing your dreams, which have become projects.
And you will be able to respond to all those who believe in the theory of luck:
A life choice that involves, among other things, less comfort or luxury in everyday life, in order to save for your projects. A choice that has its pros and cons, but ultimately allows you to fulfill yourself.