How to Prepare for a Trip as a Couple: From Dream to Reality

This article on how to prepare for a trip as a couple was password protected until November 7, 2019. Since we no longer provide a newsletter, we had a hard time sending the password via email as we did when we launched the blog.

Traveling alone or as a couple is not the same! The dynamic completely changes, bringing its share of benefits and challenges. And these differences are already felt during the preparation. So, how do you prepare for a trip as a couple?

For my part, I've never tried solo travel. The only experience that comes close was a six-month internship during my university training, which I did in Quebec... and I loved it! But even then, it is very different from a long-term trip: I was sedentary (even though I took advantage of it to explore the area). So I can talk more about my experience of several months of traveling as a couple.

Here are four steps that should help you prepare for a trip as a couple.

A long-term trip to the other side of the world begins with dreaming about it. It is starting from this point that differences (and tensions!) can arise in the couple: in the way they dream about this journey. One may have dreamed of it longer or more intensely, picturing what they wanted to experience and see... The other may have different expectations, and where one sees an opportunity for adventure, the other sees the chance to undertake a volunteer project while staying in one place for several months...

Personally, I've dreamed of backpacking since I was 17... But my family discouraged me and advised me to wait until I finished my university studies. The reason they gave was concerning the help I could provide there. I wanted to divide my trip into several phases, one of which involved participating in a local project and getting involved in volunteer work. My mother would say to me: 'Wait until you finish your studies.' I was convinced, but I thought another reason was hidden behind it: money. I come from a working-class family, and I had already considered different options available to me. I had to fend for myself.

Thus, I continued my education, and during my five years of study, I worked on the side, one weekend every two weeks, and a large part of my vacations. This allowed me to fully finance my internship in Canada. But I never forgot my dream of traveling, like a promise I made to myself.

I was lucky when I met François, towards the end of my university course, that he shares (and nurtures!) my love for travel.

But it's afterwards that the differences become evident...

While I dreamed of a trip lasting about a year, with (at least) a segment of 3-4 months for a volunteer project, François shared my desire to travel, but with his own twist...

He imagined sailing the Caribbean Sea on a small sailboat that we would buy. He spent hours every day browsing sites for used boats, feeding his dream with images that became more and more real. I didn't think he genuinely wanted to make this (crazy) project happen on such short notice; I thought it was just something he was thinking about, especially since this project is very important to him.

The confrontation was tough... and long! I eventually got my way on the destination, but François's plan is not abandoned, and I had to promise him that we would revisit it in a few years (to be continued...)!

Once the geographical area was more or less established (because a continent is vast!), the project is still only at the draft stage...

When we started to plan and reflect more concretely on this trip, tensions arose again. Sometimes, it's difficult to realize what each person has in mind... And sometimes, we sense that it's not the same, but...

We will see later!

A good piece of advice: never leave this kind of discussion for later. All that will happen is that each party will have had time to nourish their own frustrations... and their resentment towards you for not understanding!

Compromises are difficult balances to find, because if it's for realizing a grand project like a long-term trip, but neither gets what they want, it's not worth it! And you risk finding those tensions, which hadn't disappeared but remained, latent, ready to resurface at the slightest turbulence.

So choosing where to go, how long... is good, but it's not enough! You also need to agree on each other's expectations, the project(s)...

Thus, we had a debate about whether or not to participate in a local project. Adopting the ostrich technique, I buried my head in the sand and continued to research different projects on my own. I already had two very concrete options (and others in mind) by the time we seriously discussed it. I could see myself spending three months in the mountains near Medellín, Colombia, for a project supporting a local community; and another three months working for the orphanage of the Sacred Heart in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Contacts were made, and it was practically just about to be finalized... But François's dreams were of a completely different color! We ultimately set aside these projects (for another life, perhaps) in favor of a shorter project (a month and a half) on an island in the Galapagos. A good compromise, which turned out to be a fantastic experience!

But for other couples, this question may be linked to the style of travel: by foot - by bike - by bus, staying in hostels, camping, or luxury hotels, visiting museums or delving deep into nature far from civilization... This wasn't our debate because we are on the same wavelength regarding those topics.

The step of revealing plans to friends and family is a significant milestone. For a project as big as a long-term trip, very few people will instinctively understand your motivations or the significance of this project for you, and will support you unconditionally.

Thus, my close family and friends knew this had been on my mind for years, and they followed the evolution of our thoughts, even assisting us in these preliminary steps by providing contacts in our extended family or acquaintances to gather information (health, projects...). But for others, the shock of the surprise was harsher!

...

Questions and opposition came pouring in faster than we could respond!

One of the biggest misunderstandings was likely related to our recent engagement: why get engaged and then leave so far and for so long before getting married?!?

I think it's in moments like these that being two is a real asset. Where doubts begin to gnaw at our naïve and unwavering determination, the perspective of the other person and their encouragement are real support. I felt that François's determination was never shaken; he never showed his doubts. Two very different approaches!

So, after the announcement, especially, stay the course and support each other!

For this, forums, sites, and blogs of other travelers are also a good way to find a fresh breeze of positive thoughts to consume without moderation!

The next step is preparation. And since the topic of this article is preparing a trip as a couple, there too, tensions can arise. Especially if you have different styles, which, as you might guess, is our case!

While François prefers to avoid learning about places to see, wanting to enjoy complete surprises when discovering locations, I like to gather information from various sources, on the internet and in guides, looking for UNESCO-listed archaeological sites, for example, and researching > to see which are worth it and which aren't... And seeing images of certain ruins doesn't diminish my enjoyment of observing them in real life later on.

Tensions inevitably arose from these differences, as I wished to share my enthusiasm. I love talking about our travels, before and after, to project myself into them.

He didn't want his trip spoiled and did everything to avoid listening to me!

Ultimately, I continued to work independently and kept my discoveries to myself before our departure. But once we arrived, my research was often very useful. Over time, we found a routine in our preparations and our > while traveling, and he would ask me, once on site, what interesting things there were to discover together.

Finally, to prepare for a trip as a couple, divide the roles according to your affinities! One can research insurance, banks, or doctors, while the other can tackle plane tickets or necessary equipment.

Once the preparations are complete, you're ready for the big departure... and the delicate question of How to travel as a couple?!

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