8 Reasons Why I Don't Like Flying

I don't like flying: paradoxical in a world where travel means flying and vice versa? For me, taking a plane is a hassle to endure in order to pursue my passion and reach different corners of the world.

Fortunately, I don't have any phobia related to this mode of transport. Let's just say it's like Brussels sprouts; I don't fear it, I just don't like it!

Here's a little top 8 of the reasons why I don't like flying.

Prejudged as a potential terrorist, the presumption of innocence does not exist in airports! We all have to endure increasingly strict checks, unable to distinguish between a zipper and a weapon...

At every security check, it's the same routine: I gulp down my water bottle, which poses a serious threat... to the businesses that await me just a few meters away!

These security checks are always an opportunity to be noticed: of course, we take our laptops out of our bags (a moment of doubt for the guards: > - let's say that with the stickers, it's not obvious!), but that's not enough. Very often, our bag raises eyebrows: why do we have so many cameras?

• What is that?
• A camera.
• And this?
• A camera.
• And that?
• A camera. (We like to play the fool in these cases!)
• Why is it strange?
• It's because it's in a waterproof case for taking photos underwater.
• And you need three cameras?
• Yes!

This reminds me of a similar scenario when François arrived at the airport in Montreal: he was on the verge of having to abandon his laptop after a security check.

• (François sometimes lacks vocabulary too!)

He ultimately made it through thanks to a tech company ID, pretending he was there for business. The guard then let him pass, advising him to clean his laptop properly, because sometimes grime is confused with explosives... Long live security checks!

Can you imagine arriving two hours early to catch your train? And it's not just about waiting; the environment where we are herded matters a lot: personally, vegetating in crowded, noisy, and uncomfortable places is not my idea of leisure.

Circling around like a goldfish in its bowl, the traveler in transit has only the shops, graciously provided for their distraction. They become nothing more than a walking wallet, willing to pay triple for the same small bottle they had to abandon at the security check a few meters ago.

And just in case they haven't consumed enough on solid ground, no worries, airlines have thought of everything by offering their magazine and even bombarding passengers' ears with announcements reminding them they have the chance to continue consuming.

Our plane ticket always reserves a bonus performance: a synchronized ballet! Before each takeoff, flight attendants and stewards execute their routine to remind us of safety measures and what to do in case of problems during the flight... It's so outdated, ridiculous, and pointless!

There are two types of attitudes among passengers: those who are flying for the first time and the others.

The novice observes every move of the flight attendant, follows the presentation in the small booklet available at their seat, and worries about accessing their life jacket or the nearest emergency exit.

The regular yawns at the display: they know these routines so well they could steal the show from the attendants! But instead of reinventing the Macarena, they mock this meaningless choreography, flipping through the in-flight magazine or completely sleeping.

In both cases, the objective seems failed... unless airlines want to stress half their passengers, who will jump at the slightest jolt of the plane, and put the other half to sleep? It's probably a matter of balance...

Airplane seats, especially for short flights, are examples of modern comfort: small, cramped, stiff, crowded... What a joy to play the contortionist for 3 hours! And how do people over 5'7" manage? Not to mention those who are overweight! These seats are designed for standard or even anorexic sizes; for others: suck in your stomach, fold your legs, hold your breath... and think of your poor neighbors!

Humans are a strange specimen, especially when in a crowd. Observing the effects of crowds has a fascinating sociological aspect and is frightening at the same time!

Grandly observed, stress and chaos arise, with the slightest individual movement triggering a chain reaction shifting the crowd toward the starting line, ready for the boarding race. The phenomenon worsens for low-cost flights, especially if seats are unassigned: the question becomes vital!

Unfortunately, this phenomenon doesn't just occur during boarding: why don't passengers understand that there's no point in getting up before the seatbelt sign is off, and that jostling and preventing people from exiting calmly will ultimately change nothing? Everyone roughs it to be the first to get off... only to find themselves moments later all together in front of the baggage carousel, waiting for their suitcase that won't arrive for at least a quarter hour (or even 45 minutes in Brussels, stunning European capital!).

Managing space in a confined area like an airplane is crucial. It is felt at every level: the occupation of one's seat, the armrest, the overhead compartments...

The first step upon boarding is successfully stowing one's carry-on: this is where the game begins, mixing Tetris and Stratego! Everyone tries to place their bags as close to their seat as possible, and the mantra > amplifies the chaotic movement.

More and more, passengers are equipping themselves with rigid wheeled suitcases, very practical, very sturdy... True war machines forcing the way to create a free space, crushing everything in their path, often at the expense of poor backpacks. And how come some passengers systematically have suitcases that don't even fit in the overhead compartment?

Once the suitcase is stowed, the main issue in the occupation of space arises: the armrests! There is a rule of propriety stating that unfortunate passengers in the center seats, who have neither window nor aisle access, are to enjoy priority use of the armrests... Very theoretical, right? Why not suggest to the flight attendants to remind everyone of these good practices before takeoff rather than explain how we might die by drowning or asphyxiation?

In practice, the armrest space is conquered like a crusade, with each person literally throwing elbows for a few extra inches. Under these circumstances, it's impossible to hope to pull out your laptop to write unless you've developed the ability to type on the keys while keeping your elbows glued to your body, hands slightly arched (an undeniable plus for digital nomads!).

Of course, the warmth of pleasant company from your neighbors isn't just measured by armrest occupancy: aside from the smells of sweat and the noise of snoring, which you might encounter daily on the train, the little bonus on the plane is the involvement of neighbors all around you!

What joy to feel surrounded in a lively and dynamic environment! Everyone participates in the community life of the airplane: it's impossible to go to the restroom without disturbing the whole row as well as the row ahead by leaning on seats, possibly even pulling a few hairs in the process. Some charming neighbors take it further by playing with their seat tray or tapping on the chair to communicate their nervousness... That's what I call sharing!

But thanks to modern life, the community benefits from the latest technologies. Everyone knows this social media sharing network of audio-visual media, especially prevalent in trams and subways: mobile phones! Generous citizens share their music or the movie they're watching with the entire compartment. Now this modern practice has spread to airplanes: about time!

Thus, during my flight to Murcia, I had a plethora of choices: French film with my right neighbor, cartoon with my front neighbor, or modern music from the young one behind? Still, buying a phone for several hundred dollars and not being able to afford headphones is sad! The crisis has struck again.

Special mention for young children on planes: whenever I take possession of my seat, I always take a look around to spot my neighbors, and more specifically, to check if there are children in the vicinity... Although it's not necessary to look for this information: I'll discover it soon enough! Taking a plane for little ones is often painful and incomprehensible, leading to tears as soon as the plane takes off, if not before.

However, I enjoy watching older kids: I count the number of times they roam down the aisle, chased by one of their parents, looking dazed and exhausted.

Keeping kids occupied during a long trip is a real challenge for parents, and if their attention wanes, the child quickly finds activities: lifting and lowering the tray, throwing their toys in the seat behind, kicking the chair in front... Making their delicate company appreciated by everyone around them!

Little bonus discovered during my return flight from Murcia: dogs in the cabin! Pleasant aroma of dog poop to enhance the two-hour flight: wonderful!

...We aren't so far from Bolivian buses and their chickens!

The airplane has undeniable qualities: in just a few hours, you can be on the other side of the world. Phileas Fogg can take a seat! By the way, as a little coincidence of the calendar, I found this morning an article by Marie-Julie from Taxibrousse with her 7 reasons why she loves flying.

Nevertheless, this diminishes some of the adventure's charm: the landscape no longer unfolds under the traveler's gaze. Pushed to the extreme, wouldn't teleportation ultimately strip travel of its meaning as a passion and leisure activity?

But flying is also about traveling in community and rubbing shoulders with society... with its good and bad sides! A quote that resonates quite well with me:

The more I love humanity in general, the less I love people in particular (Fyodor Dostoevsky)

I would say rather >

And you, what are your good reasons for loving or hating flying?